X-Men #117, January 1979
In Which We Discover That What Lilandra Really Wants To Be Empress of Is The Local Sephora, That Xavier came to Cairo for the Sex Tourism, but Stayed For The Astral Sex Tourism, That Twilight’s Bella and The Smith’s Morrisey Have Both Just Arrived To Tell Xavier To Cheer The F*&^ Up!
We lie down again and take our second foray into Marvel Mutant Movies! Check out what we thought of this X-Mash-Up of epic proportions. Just as a warning, we spoil the heck out of it after that. So listen with care.
X-Men #114, October 1978
In Which We Discover That One Should Never Bother A Living Embodiment Of Rebirth Until After Its First Cup Of Coffee, That Wolverine Is Basically A Walking Cable-Knit Sweater, And That Summers Can Not Decide Whether To Get The Tom Sellick Or Go For The Full Oates!
X-Men #113, September 1978
In Which We Discover That Scott Needs To Use His Words When He Makes Boom Boom, That If You Give Storm A Bowl Of Cherries You’ll Get Back A Pile Of Bowline and Hitch Knots, And That With Four Opposable Thumbs No One Should Be Surprised That The Beast Gets So Handsy!
X-Men #110, April 1978
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Treats Every Problem Like A Gordian Knot, That The Mansion Workplace Environment Really Improved Once The Professor Instituted The No Pining For Jean Grey Rule, And That Wolverine Likes To Win His Ladies The Right Way: Popping The Biggest Claw!
X-Men #109, February 1978
In Which We Learn That Sharing A Bedroom Wall With Banshee Must Be A Total Nightmare, That Colossus Needs To Recognize That Not Every Hairy Dude Wants To Be Compared to Chewbacca, And That When Wolverine Wears Someone’s Leopardtard, He Is Sharing Costumes With Everyone THEY Shared WITH and Everyone THEY Shared WITH and So On…
X-Men #108, December 1977
In Which We Find That Most Space Pirate Lizardmen Would Kill For A Tube Of Chapstick, That Alien Guard Dwarfs Fearlessly Wield Their Crotches Like Pubescent Girl Gymnists, And That Ben Affleck Was This Close To Going With The Story Of The X-Men and the M’Kraan Crystal, Only Alan Arkin Refused To Wear The Damn Adamantium Claws!
X-Men #107, October 1977
In Which We Discover That That No One Gets Wolverine’s Constant References To Early Silver Screen Comedic Duos, That You Haven’t Seen An Old Boys Club Until You Have Seen An Old Boys Club Entirely Composed of Insect Men, And That Xavier’s Embodiment Of All His Psychic Energy, Potential, and Focus Is Kind Of A Man-Slut!
X-Men #106, August 1977
In Which We Find That For Teleportation Nightcrawler Has No Choice But To Use His Night and Weekend Minutes, That As A Canadian Wolverine Is Unable To Resist A Fine Ice Sluice, And That Once The X-Men Meet Xavier’s Alter Ego They Will Be Green With Envy!
X-Men #105, June 1977
In Which We Discover That Embodying All Cosmic Destruction And Rebirth Does Not Mean You Can Dish A Good Biscuit, That Mister Fantastic Should Never Trust A Car Valet Wearing Ruby Red Eyeglasses, And That Even Heralds of Galactus Know Never To Put Anything In Their Ear Canals… Except For Their Elbow!
