Wolverine #4, December 1982
In Which We Learn That When You Care To Send The Very Best Send A Bloody Ninja Hood, That Yukio Shares The Same Weakness For Netting As Crustaceans, And That Mariko Should Have Skipped Out On Lord Shingen’s “Take Your Daughter To Work Day!”
Wolverine #3, November 1982
In Which We Find That Ninja Is One of The More Overlooked Positions In The Hospitality Industry, That There Are Very Few Times Appropriate For Caling Out Your Ex’s Name And After Killing Five Ninjas Is Still Not It, And That When The Mangled Corpses Are All Aligned Along The Garden Rake Tracks That Is Actually Maximum Zen!
Wolverine #2, October 1982
In Which We Discover That While Ladies Dig The Abs They Are Turned Off By Murder Sprees, That From Nefari- To Treacher-, Lord Shingen Has All the -Ous’s, And That It’s Raining Ninja Men! Halllejah, Amen!
Wolverine #1, September 1982
In Which We Learn That If You Got Junk In The Trunk You Don’t Like Poisoning Bears With Gunk, That If You Name it Logan Can Clench It, And That In Japan You Can’t Walk Ten Feet Without Hitting A Shuriken Shower!
X-Men #143, March 1981
In Which We Find That Xavier’s Woods Is No Place For Erotic Tree Removal, That This Is Not The First Time Kitty’s Perfume Has Been Confused With An Evil Miasma, And That Moving In On Logan’s Girl Has Two Parts: 1- Upside Down Kissing and 2- You In Two Parts!
X-Men #123, July 1979
In Which We Discover That Ororo Must Be By Far the Cleanest Member of the X-men, That Colossus Has Finally Earned His Big Boy Pants, And That Arcade Has Managed To Merge His Three Greatest Passions: Homicide, Inflatable Latex, and Who Rock Operas!
X-Men #122, June 1979
In Which We Find That Wolverine is a Worker’s Comp Lawsuit Waiting To Happen, That On the Shi’Ar Homeworld No One Can Avoid The Noid, and That Colleen Wing Is Looking For a House Call From The One-Eyed Wonder! It Is Both Not What You Are Thinking and Totally Is!
X-Men #120, April 1979
In Which We Learn That There Is No Shame Greater Than The Mid-Plane Walk of Shame, That Storm Would Be Perfect For Hair or Equus or Really Any Play Where She Can Hang Out Her Junk, And That, Yes, Banshee Did Try Adding Both Ginger and Honey To Hot Chamomile And Now Would Like You To Shut Up With All Your Home Brewed Throat Bullcrap!
X-Men #119, March 1979
In Which We Find That One Should Fear Nightcrawler And His Arsenal Of Swirlies, Indian Burns, and Red Bellies, That Colleen Wing Is Desperately Trying To Get On The Right Email Lists, or Phone Trees, or Maybe Just Set Her RSS Fields Correctly, And That Jean Does Not Understand Why Misty Knight Insists On Telling Her How Japan Is Super Boring And No One’s Boyfriends Ever Double Die There!
X-Men #118, February 1979
In Which We Learn That Colossus Has Both A Hulk Fetish And The Torn Pants To Prove It, That If Sunfire Drops Just One More “Woman” Epithet Then The Only Thing Left Capable Of Rising On His Torso Will Be His Sun, And That Wolverine Is The Best At What He Does And What He Does Is Love Anachronistic Geishas That Are Still Out of His League!
