Uncanny X-Men #157, May 1982
In Which We Discover That Hard Vacuum Pushes Piotr Into Another Potential Pushkin, That Kitty’s Chaotic Costuming Suggests That There May Be Such A Thing As Too Much Creative Freedom, And That Alien Industrial Design Is Mostly Genitalia-Based Because They Just Nasty!
Uncanny X-Men #156, April 1982
In Which We Find That Bikini-clad Avengers Have Serious Pocket Problems, That Kitty Is Being Corrupted By The Nihilistic Relativism Of European Pseudo-intellectual Morality And, Also, She Likes Colossus’ Badonkadonk, And That The Three Keys To Extraterrestrial Name Creation Are Apostrophes, Apostrophes, Apostrophes!
Uncanny X-Men #155, March 1982
In Which We Discover That It Is Nigh Impossible To Repair The Trauma Of Fractured Familial Bonds Under The Constant Assault Of Alien Incursion, That The Shi’Ar Admiral Always Proudly Displays His Daughter’s Tentacle Art On The Dreadnaught Refrigerator, And That Deathbird Would Have Long Ago Conquered The Galaxy If She Could Stop Buying All Her Weaponry From “As Seen On TV!”
X-Men #154, February 1982
In Which We Find That You Should Definitely Call The X-Men for Any Demonic Hellscapes You Would Like To Renovate and Flip, That Wolverine Knows Chicks With Damage Give Logan The Hammage, And That The Sidri Can Only Be Defeated With Fire… and Presumably a Glue Trap Baited with Sugar!
X-Men #153, January 1982
In Which We Learn That Even The Sugariest of Sugar Daddies Might Not Have Enough Sugar For Routine Sentinel Damage, That Muppet Dolls Are Probably Not Vessels Hosting Spirits of the Damned, Yearning to Return to Our Realm Through The Weak Will of a Storyteller, And That Bilbo Could Have Saved Everyone A Lot of Trouble If He Had Just Jabbed Smaug In The Ass!
X-Men #152, December 1981
In Which We Find That You Can’t Keep Your Emmas Straight From Your Ororos Without A Program, That Kitty Pryde Does Not Just Wake Up Looking This Good, And That Sebastion Shaw Is One Corset Short Of A Rocky Horror Picture Show!
X-Men #151, November 1981
In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Not A Girl and Not Yet a Woman But She Might Be A Really Old Woman, That In The X-Mansion Swim Wear IS Formal Wear, And That Hellfire Guards Need Their Uniforms For A Lot More Than Just Guard Duty!
X-Men #150, October 1981
In Which We Learn That Wolverine Is A Serial Lady Dunker, That Scott Summers Finds Impossible Lovecraftian Geometry Surprisingly Sexy, And That While Magneto May Be An Insane Despot, His Musings On Government Resource Allocation Are Surprisingly Compelling!
X-Men #149, September 1981
In Which We Find That Wolverine Skipped the Entire Underpants Grappling Section of The Workplace Harassment Manual, That There Is Never a Piece of Food That Can’t Be Improved By Shoving More Food Into It, And That The X-men Don’t Understand Kitty And Never Will Because They Are Stupid And Old And Smelly And She Hates Them Sooooo Much!
X-Men #148, August 1981
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Is A Dark Master Of The High Shoulder Stab, That You Can Say Whatever You Want About Caliban’s Hideous Disfigurement, But He Can Get You Into Any Club in Manhattan, And That It Is Not Even The First Time Tonight That Someone Has Stripped Under A Table at Club Infinity!
