X-Men #148, August 1981
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Is A Dark Master Of The High Shoulder Stab, That You Can Say Whatever You Want About Caliban’s Hideous Disfigurement, But He Can Get You Into Any Club in Manhattan, And That It Is Not Even The First Time Tonight That Someone Has Stripped Under A Table at Club Infinity!
X-Men #147, July 1981
In Which We Learn That The Professor and Doom Are Subscribers To The Same Torture Room Monthly, That Henchmen Only Really Hench For The Fringe Benefits, And That Wolverine Is Working Hard To Broaden Himself With More Focused Mindless Slashing!
X-Men #146, June 1981
In Which We Find That There Is Surprisingly Little Difference Between Fine Spa Amenities And Nightmare Death Traps, That Wolverine’s Disgust of Op Art Stems From His College Roomate’s Magic Eye Posters – A Robust Collection of Marijuana Leaves and Dongs, And That Apparently What You Get For The Assassin Who Has Everything Is Novelty Neckties!
X-Men #145, May 1981
In Which We Discover That If Nothing Else The Opera Is A Perfect Place To Bone Down, That Doctor Doom Decorations Nefariously Emphasize Form Over Function, And That A Surprisingly High Percentage of the X-men Are Experts in Nude Combat!
X-Men #144, April 1981
In Which We Learn That A D’Spayre Family Reunion Will Always Run Out Of Apostrophes, That As Far As Cyclops Is Concerned The Color Of Money Is Ruby Red, And That For A Demonic Incarnation Of The Darkest Human Emotions, D’Spayre Sure Tosses A Lot Of Evil Spaghetti At The Wall Hoping Something Sticks!
X-Men #143, March 1981
In Which We Find That Xavier’s Woods Is No Place For Erotic Tree Removal, That This Is Not The First Time Kitty’s Perfume Has Been Confused With An Evil Miasma, And That Moving In On Logan’s Girl Has Two Parts: 1- Upside Down Kissing and 2- You In Two Parts!
X-Men #142, February 1981
In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Just Like Indian Food, She Goes Right Through You, That Ororo Likes Countries Like She Likes Her Men: Big Enough That They Don’t Trigger Her Debilitating Claustrophobia, And That With A Large Enough Wolverine Colossus Could Move The World!
X-Men #141, January 1981
In Which We Learn That Danger Room Brunch is the Deadliest Brunch of All, That Pillsbury Breads Should Never Be Substituted for any Feminine Hygiene Products, And That Somehow Walter Mondale’s Candidacy Was Even More Disastrous in X-Men Continuity!
X-Men #140, December 1980
In Which We Find That There Is Nothing Like The Bond That Forms Between Two Men And A Nice Large Stump, That Smokey The Bear Is Mostly A Symbol Of The Ineffectiveness of Civilization In Battling the Elemental Might of Fire. And Also, He Is A Total Hoser, And That The Toughest Battles of Wolverine’s Early Years Were Keeping Three People Under A Single Comforter!
X-Men #139, November 1980
In Which We Discover That When Your Hands Are Can Openers Every Problem Is A Can, That Shaman Often Calls Upon The Four Winds and the Spirit Moon To Keep His Toes Dry And Chafe-Free, And That Snowbird Defies Stereotypes of Both Traditional Femininity And Feminine Voice Work!
