Episode 137, “Kitty’s Fairy Tale”

X-Men #153, January 1982
“Kitty’s Fairy Tale”
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by Dave Cockrum, Inks by Josef Rubinstein, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Louise Jones, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter.

Apocalypse Now? Ask Me How!

In Which We Learn That Even The Sugariest of Sugar Daddies Might Not Have Enough Sugar For Routine Sentinel Damage, That Muppet Dolls Are Probably Not Vessels Hosting Spirits of the Damned, Yearning to Return to Our Realm Through The Weak Will of a Storyteller, And That Bilbo Could Have Saved Everyone A Lot of Trouble If He Had Just Jabbed Smaug In The Ass!

Some Day Soon, There Will Have To Be A Smurf/Snork/Bamf Reckoning… There Can Be Only One!

Its spring of 2020 and we are living through an unprecedented (in modern times) global pandemic. Along with that comes a lot of anxiety and feeling that the world is coming to an end. Well, it is not. And as proof, we present nine comic tales where the world, in fact, does effectively end. Now many people would prefer more escape in their escapism. We get that. But if you want proof that being stuck in your house with your computers and your family is not actually the worst, these tales may give you a little perspective. The fact that these stories include a veritable Who’s Who of some of the top talent in the industry doesn’t hurt either.

They are (starting at top, going left to right): The Walking Dead (Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, Charlie Adlard), Y The Last Man (Brian K Vaughn, Pia Guerra), Crossed (Garth Ennis, Jacen Burrows), X-Men: Legacy Virus (multiple creators doing a storyline over 8 years), DMZ (Brian Wood, Riccardo Burchielli), East of West (Jonathan Hickman, Nick Dragotta), Freak Angels (Warren Ellis, Paul Duffield), Sweet Tooth (Jeff Lemire), & Kamadi (the inimitable Jack Kirby). All the above images should be clickable with links that would take you to Amazon. We note that these are paid links that do send a teeny tiny amount back to us.

So what can you squat? 450? 500? An atrium?
Illyana keeps asking me to wear shoes. Why? I’d still have bear feet. Wocka Wocka Wocka!
Clearly Kitty has bookmarked the Naughty parts.
But how does he stay on the rug?
Earthquake hold putty.
The Phoenix should probably not pump her own gas.
Hey! What’s the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights. Wocka Wocka Wocka!
Nightcrawler can find a jumpsuit with a tail hole, but somehow Wolverine can’t find any shirt.
But how would he…? Cause he’s so small… Does he even have a…?
Tell you what. Let’s all be better people and just let this one go.
Ah yes. Clearly he needs to clarify he is the average of a set of numbers and not the median or mode. Very sensible.
The amazing thing is every year Kitty returns to the birthplace of her parents, despite never have seen it in her lifetime!
Wash your hands, kids.

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