Episode 110, “The Quality of Hatred!”

X-Men #127, October 1979
“The Quality of Hatred!”
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inks by Terry Austin, Lettered by Tom Orzechowski, Colors by Glynis Wein, Edited by Roger Stern, Editor-In-Chief Jim Shooter

Proceed Directly To Market, Do Not Pass Go!

In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert’s Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff!

You Can Disparage Banshee’s Virility All You Want, But Go After His Swiss Miss And There Will Be Hell To Pay!

In May 1984, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird released a black and white comic, which was essentially a parody of Frank Miller’s new grim and gritty (and popular) style. The success of these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 (above, left) surprised everyone and the tiny 3000 issue run sold out rapidly, driving the cost of an issue upwards 50-fold practically overnight. This huge price increase caught the attention of professional and amateur speculator alike and soon everyone was snapping up #1 issues of every black and white comic to appear on the shelves. The great Black & White Speculation Boom of the mid-80s was on. First and foremost among this new B&W glut were TMNT parodies, with titles like the Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters (above, right).

Before long everyone and their brother was producing their own 4-name parody comics, each with increasingly lower quality.

By the end of 1986, the speculation bubble had burst and comic book store owners were left with literally millions of terrible, unsellable comic books. The Black & White Bust bankrupted many stores and left others in terrible shape. Sadly, the comic industry did not learn its lesson and was to repeat the entire speculation cycle less than a decade later, only on a much grander and industry destroying scale…

Damn it, Storm! You can’t leave Flat Stanley out in this downpour! He’s only cardboard!

Moira’s portable emergency eye wash station was cumbersome.

Scott tried the old over the shoulder bolder holder, but just got himself a solid dose of the even older into the smelly belly repell-y.

Cyclops’ emergency eye wash station was easy to use, but contained a bit too much scalding hot cocoa.

Oh Storm, those are so obviously extensions!

Just ask Jennie to the prom, boyo. What’s the worst that could happen?

Joe MacTaggert definitely had an Ashley Madison account.

I just said, “Look Polaris, Jean can take on five at once!” and now I can’t go over to her house anymore.

I think Daffy had similar troubles in Duck Amuck. Just do a slow turn to camera, Colossus, and say “You’re despicable…”

This is called the butterfly effect. Chaos theory is super cute!

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