Episode 042, “If I Should Die…!

X-Aspirations Episode 042
X-Men #42, March 1968
“If I Should Die…!”
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Don Heck, Inked by George Tuska, Lettering by Sam Rosen, Edited by Stan Lee.

Also Included: “The End… Or The Beginning?”
Written by Roy Thomas, Pencils by Werner Roth, Inked by Herb Trimpe, Lettering by Al Kurzrok, Edited by Stan Lee.

Simon Is Sick And Retired Of Comics!

In Which We Find That Xavier Suffers From Mechanically Induced Incontinence, That Earth Annihilating Machines May Require Additional Child Safety Features, And That The X-Men Should Consider Tricking More Of Their Most Fearsome Foes Into Local Fast Food Eateries!

Hey, Rocket Face! Stop Blasting The Bird Man!

Eyes up here Warren… Bobby, eyes further up here, please.

The next time you forget my lunch money, Nerd, you go inside the locker!

Cyclops tests a new method of breaking up kidney stones.

Why, I can see right through your uniforms.  Bobby, you are one big icicle aren’t you?

Dislocating a pinky is excruciating enough. Dislocating it by catching it in the unwashed loin cloth of a raving lunatic…

Well, it’s worse. We’ll leave it at that.

Despite their cries, they really could not be rocking this Squint-Off any harder.

Oh, so you think I need a bigger cup-size?  I just had my face lifted, my eyebrows plucked, and my hair done.  Aren’t I pretty enough for you now, Cyke? Huh? Huh?!

Do not overfill a Dyson vacuum cleaner with ketchup. Well, with any condiment really.

Michaelangelo was consistently criticized for not putting enough brightly colored spandex in his Pieta.

Did you know that Diamond Armpits smell like cumin?

X-Aspirations is much too sophisticated a venue to do a fart joke. So we would appreciate it if you imagined something equally funny, but less crass. Thank you – The Management.

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