X-Men #141, January 1981
In Which We Learn That Danger Room Brunch is the Deadliest Brunch of All, That Pillsbury Breads Should Never Be Substituted for any Feminine Hygiene Products, And That Somehow Walter Mondale’s Candidacy Was Even More Disastrous in X-Men Continuity!
X-Men #140, December 1980
In Which We Find That There Is Nothing Like The Bond That Forms Between Two Men And A Nice Large Stump, That Smokey The Bear Is Mostly A Symbol Of The Ineffectiveness of Civilization In Battling the Elemental Might of Fire. And Also, He Is A Total Hoser, And That The Toughest Battles of Wolverine’s Early Years Were Keeping Three People Under A Single Comforter!
X-Men #139, November 1980
In Which We Discover That When Your Hands Are Can Openers Every Problem Is A Can, That Shaman Often Calls Upon The Four Winds and the Spirit Moon To Keep His Toes Dry And Chafe-Free, And That Snowbird Defies Stereotypes of Both Traditional Femininity And Feminine Voice Work!
X-Men Annual #4, November 1980
In Which We Learn That Nightcrawler Can Finally Ditch His Fake ID, That Kitty Pryde Has The Drinking Habits Of A Bitter Joan Crawford, And That It’s Hard Out Here For A Sorcerer Supreme, Getting Enough Magic For His Rent!
X-Men #138, October 1980
In Which We Discover That Shi’Ar Culture May Overvalue Their Novelty Snow Globes, That Scott Now Has Both Rose Colored Glasses And Boots Made For Walking, And That One Can Not Underestimate The Value of A Well Placed Jacket Flap To Get Around The Comics’ Code!
X-Men #137, September 1980
In Which We Find That Five Billion Is Actually The Loneliest Number, That The Only Way For The X-Men To Save Jean Is To Go The Full Monty, And That Gladiator Does Not Want You To Hate Him Because He Is Beautiful!
X-Men #136, August 1980
In Which We Learn That The Greatest Threat To Most Alien Civilizations Is That No One Can Pronounce Anyone Else’s Name, That Parental Guilt Trips Scale With The Amount of Omnipotence One Possesses So Mathematically You Actually Can Never Be Good Enough, And That No, Xavier Can Not Let Scott Have Even Just This One!
X-Men #135, July 1980
In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time!
X-Men #134, June 1980
In Which We Learn That Wolverine Ain’t Heavy He’s My Mutantly-Enhanced Mass Brother, That Beneath Colossus’ Metal Skin Beats The Heart of An Easily Distracted Poet, And That If Storm Hears One More “Let It Go” refrain from Nightcrawler, He’s A Dead Elf!
X-Men #133, May 1980
In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart’s Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time!
