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X-Men #116, December 1978
In Which We Find That The Pterodactyl Men Would Be Wise To Invest In Some High Quality Bond Stationery, That Banshee Has a Body Built For Ladies But A Mouth Designed For Rest Stops, And That It Looks Like Cyclops Needs To Stop Skipping Xavier’s Zoomba Classes!
X-Men #115, November 1978
In Which We Learn That The Savage Land May Destroy Your Shirt But The Delicious Mansculpting Kind Of Makes Up For It, That Cyclops Is Such A Coward That Not Even Kenny Rogers Could Redeem Him, And That I’ll Be Fine With Flame Skin Drawings As Long As They Cut The Stupid Chinese Symbols Crap! You Don’t Speak Flame Chinese Either, Poseur!
X-Men #114, October 1978
In Which We Discover That One Should Never Bother A Living Embodiment Of Rebirth Until After Its First Cup Of Coffee, That Wolverine Is Basically A Walking Cable-Knit Sweater, And That Summers Can Not Decide Whether To Get The Tom Sellick Or Go For The Full Oates!
X-Men #113, September 1978
In Which We Discover That Scott Needs To Use His Words When He Makes Boom Boom, That If You Give Storm A Bowl Of Cherries You’ll Get Back A Pile Of Bowline and Hitch Knots, And That With Four Opposable Thumbs No One Should Be Surprised That The Beast Gets So Handsy!
X-Men #112, August 1978
In Which We Find That Magneto Is Like a Box Of Chocolates, Only Its Just Two Flavors And They Both Taste Nasty, That While Moira MacTaggert May Look Good In The French Maid Outfit That Is As Far as It Goes, And That Wolverine Has a Rational Fear of Giant Knives In His Face!
X-Men #111, June 1978
In Which We Learn That Beast Has A Singin’ In The Rain Wardrobe Always At The Ready, That You Have To Pay Extra For The Yukon Blow Off, And That Wolverine Is McCoy’s Feral Brother of Another Mother!
X-Men #110, April 1978
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Treats Every Problem Like A Gordian Knot, That The Mansion Workplace Environment Really Improved Once The Professor Instituted The No Pining For Jean Grey Rule, And That Wolverine Likes To Win His Ladies The Right Way: Popping The Biggest Claw!
X-Men #109, February 1978
In Which We Learn That Sharing A Bedroom Wall With Banshee Must Be A Total Nightmare, That Colossus Needs To Recognize That Not Every Hairy Dude Wants To Be Compared to Chewbacca, And That When Wolverine Wears Someone’s Leopardtard, He Is Sharing Costumes With Everyone THEY Shared WITH and Everyone THEY Shared WITH and So On…
X-Men #108, December 1977
In Which We Find That Most Space Pirate Lizardmen Would Kill For A Tube Of Chapstick, That Alien Guard Dwarfs Fearlessly Wield Their Crotches Like Pubescent Girl Gymnists, And That Ben Affleck Was This Close To Going With The Story Of The X-Men and the M’Kraan Crystal, Only Alan Arkin Refused To Wear The Damn Adamantium Claws!
X-Men #107, October 1977
In Which We Discover That That No One Gets Wolverine’s Constant References To Early Silver Screen Comedic Duos, That You Haven’t Seen An Old Boys Club Until You Have Seen An Old Boys Club Entirely Composed of Insect Men, And That Xavier’s Embodiment Of All His Psychic Energy, Potential, and Focus Is Kind Of A Man-Slut!
