X-Men #129, January 1980
In Which We Discover That When Flying Always Check Where Your Closest Concubine Is, Keeping In Mind It May Be Behind You, That Wolverine Does Not Even Pretend To Read Them For The Articles, And That Frankly My Jean, I Don’t Give A Damn!
X-Men #128, December 1979
In Which We Learn That Storm Is A Friend To All Be They Beast Or Building Material, That Elephants Never Forget Their First Interspecies Sexual Predator, And That Moira Has Found The Warm Joy Of A Set Of Stainless Steel Twigs ‘n Berries!
X-Men #127, October 1979
In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert’s Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff!
X-Men #126, October 1979
In Which We Find That Hunting Naked Men Is One Of The Fifty Shades of Jean Grey, That Madrox Is Only One Step Above A Tennis Ball On A Stick, And That Mutant X May Have One Further Weakness: Love… And A Debilitating Addiction To Prescription Medication. Also, Chocoholic!
X-Men #125, September 1979
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Has Been Insufferable Ever Since Nightcrawler Broke the Keurig Machine, That Jean Grey Has Been Traveling the Mediterranean Learning the Tantric Secrets of the Yoni and the Emotional Voids, And That At Last The X-Men Can Really Celebrate Because Everyone is Not Dead! Well, Except Changeling, but F— That Guy!
X-Men #122, June 1979
In Which We Find That Wolverine is a Worker’s Comp Lawsuit Waiting To Happen, That On the Shi’Ar Homeworld No One Can Avoid The Noid, and That Colleen Wing Is Looking For a House Call From The One-Eyed Wonder! It Is Both Not What You Are Thinking and Totally Is!
X-Men #119, March 1979
In Which We Find That One Should Fear Nightcrawler And His Arsenal Of Swirlies, Indian Burns, and Red Bellies, That Colleen Wing Is Desperately Trying To Get On The Right Email Lists, or Phone Trees, or Maybe Just Set Her RSS Fields Correctly, And That Jean Does Not Understand Why Misty Knight Insists On Telling Her How Japan Is Super Boring And No One’s Boyfriends Ever Double Die There!
X-Men #104, April 1977
In Which We Learn That If There Is One Thing The Scots Are Known For It Is Their Devotion To The Domestic Arts, That Everyone Loves Banshee And His New Delicious Crispy Outer Shell, And That Wolverine’s Girlfriend Is Always On Him About Never Remembering Important Anniversaries, Birthdays, or His Origin Story!
X-Men #97, February 1976
In Which We Find That Colossus Is Learning That Men With Tails Make Lousy Wing Men, That The Secret To Interstellar Warfare Is A Delicate Balance of Speed, Stealth, Destructive Force, and… Adorability, And That Airline Cockpits Are All Cigar Smoke And Sorrowful Love That Can Not Be!
X-Men #94, August 1975
In Which We Find That Nefaria’s Minions Were Once Just Plucky Orphans With A Can-Do Attitude And Songs In Their Hearts, That Nightcrawler Really Knows How To Help A Team Leader Relax, And That Most Credit Card Disclosures Actually Include A Regrettably Unstoppable Armageddon (RUA) Clause!