X-Men #148, August 1981
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Is A Dark Master Of The High Shoulder Stab, That You Can Say Whatever You Want About Caliban’s Hideous Disfigurement, But He Can Get You Into Any Club in Manhattan, And That It Is Not Even The First Time Tonight That Someone Has Stripped Under A Table at Club Infinity!
X-Men #146, June 1981
In Which We Find That There Is Surprisingly Little Difference Between Fine Spa Amenities And Nightmare Death Traps, That Wolverine’s Disgust of Op Art Stems From His College Roomate’s Magic Eye Posters – A Robust Collection of Marijuana Leaves and Dongs, And That Apparently What You Get For The Assassin Who Has Everything Is Novelty Neckties!
X-Men #145, May 1981
In Which We Discover That If Nothing Else The Opera Is A Perfect Place To Bone Down, That Doctor Doom Decorations Nefariously Emphasize Form Over Function, And That A Surprisingly High Percentage of the X-men Are Experts in Nude Combat!
X-Men #142, February 1981
In Which We Discover That Kitty Pryde Is Just Like Indian Food, She Goes Right Through You, That Ororo Likes Countries Like She Likes Her Men: Big Enough That They Don’t Trigger Her Debilitating Claustrophobia, And That With A Large Enough Wolverine Colossus Could Move The World!
X-Men #141, January 1981
In Which We Learn That Danger Room Brunch is the Deadliest Brunch of All, That Pillsbury Breads Should Never Be Substituted for any Feminine Hygiene Products, And That Somehow Walter Mondale’s Candidacy Was Even More Disastrous in X-Men Continuity!
X-Men #135, July 1980
In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time!
X-Men #133, May 1980
In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart’s Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time!
X-Men #129, January 1980
In Which We Discover That When Flying Always Check Where Your Closest Concubine Is, Keeping In Mind It May Be Behind You, That Wolverine Does Not Even Pretend To Read Them For The Articles, And That Frankly My Jean, I Don’t Give A Damn!
X-Men #128, December 1979
In Which We Learn That Storm Is A Friend To All Be They Beast Or Building Material, That Elephants Never Forget Their First Interspecies Sexual Predator, And That Moira Has Found The Warm Joy Of A Set Of Stainless Steel Twigs ‘n Berries!
X-Men #127, October 1979
In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert’s Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff!
