X-Men #134, June 1980
In Which We Learn That Wolverine Ain’t Heavy He’s My Mutantly-Enhanced Mass Brother, That Beneath Colossus’ Metal Skin Beats The Heart of An Easily Distracted Poet, And That If Storm Hears One More “Let It Go” refrain from Nightcrawler, He’s A Dead Elf!
X-Men #133, May 1980
In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart’s Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time!
X-Men #132, April 1980
In Which We Discover That Wolverine May Be Murder On The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, But He Better Watch Himself With The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, That You Can’t Toss A Rock In The Marvel Universe Without Hitting An Over-Priviliged Hellfire Club Member, And That Only Jean Grey Can Control Scott’s Blasts… If You Know What I Mean!
X-Men #122, June 1979
In Which We Find That Wolverine is a Worker’s Comp Lawsuit Waiting To Happen, That On the Shi’Ar Homeworld No One Can Avoid The Noid, and That Colleen Wing Is Looking For a House Call From The One-Eyed Wonder! It Is Both Not What You Are Thinking and Totally Is!
Amazing Spider-Man #92, Incredible Hulk #150, Marvel Team-Up #23 & 38, The Defenders #15 & 16, Fantastic Four Giant-Size #4, Jan 1971 – Oct 1975
In Which We Learn That Havok Might Want To Start With Limited Sleepovers At First Then Maybe Throwing In a Toothbrush If Things Go Well, That There Is No National Monument, Treasure, or Public Work Of Art That Can Not Be Commandeered For Villainy, That Hoary Nether Realm Demons Describe Extreme Profanity As Swearing Like a Sorcerer Supreme, And That Mr. Fantastic Cut A Lot Of Corners On Fire Safety To Afford His Ludicrous Bell and Whistle Assortment!
Captain America #172-175, Apr-Jul 1974
In Which We Discover That Cap and Falcon Know Only Vagrants and Farmers Travel Without A Double Windsor, That Being A Hero Requires An Encyclopedic Knowledge of the Grand Old Opry, That Cap Depends Upon The Kindness of Strange Truckers, And That Professor X Specializes In Long Distance Rumbly Tummies!
Amazing Adventures #12-15, May-November 1972
In Which We Find That Hank Will Never Get That Wet Beast Smell Out of His Upholstery, That Later Editions of The New Testament Downplayed Most of The Elaborate Heists, And That Surprisingly One Of The Best Ways To Male Bond Is Over Bondage!
X-Men #60, September 1969
In Which We Find That The X-Men Health Plan Only Covers Maniacal Doctor Care, That Long Extinct Prehistoric Species Have Abysmally Low Q Ratings, And That A Guy Who Wants To Look Tough Should Really Downplay His Feathers!
X-Men #59, August 1969
In Which We Discover That Beast Is Not Altogther Pleased With Scott’s Commitment To His Personal Safety, That Our Future Robot Overlords Will Never Host A Pity Party, And That The Alphanumerically Low Robots Deserve An Award Just For Trying!
X-Men #39, December 1967
In Which We Find That The Best Fog Lights Are .50 Caliber Machine Guns, That The Alarm Clock And Suitcase Bomb Industries Are Dangerously Intertwined, And That Doublemint Gum Has Finally Gotten Into The Lucrative Hairless Genius Market!