X-Men #127, October 1979
In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert’s Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff!
X-Men #126, October 1979
In Which We Find That Hunting Naked Men Is One Of The Fifty Shades of Jean Grey, That Madrox Is Only One Step Above A Tennis Ball On A Stick, And That Mutant X May Have One Further Weakness: Love… And A Debilitating Addiction To Prescription Medication. Also, Chocoholic!
X-Men #125, September 1979
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Has Been Insufferable Ever Since Nightcrawler Broke the Keurig Machine, That Jean Grey Has Been Traveling the Mediterranean Learning the Tantric Secrets of the Yoni and the Emotional Voids, And That At Last The X-Men Can Really Celebrate Because Everyone is Not Dead! Well, Except Changeling, but F— That Guy!
X-Men #122, June 1979
In Which We Find That Wolverine is a Worker’s Comp Lawsuit Waiting To Happen, That On the Shi’Ar Homeworld No One Can Avoid The Noid, and That Colleen Wing Is Looking For a House Call From The One-Eyed Wonder! It Is Both Not What You Are Thinking and Totally Is!
X-Men #119, March 1979
In Which We Find That One Should Fear Nightcrawler And His Arsenal Of Swirlies, Indian Burns, and Red Bellies, That Colleen Wing Is Desperately Trying To Get On The Right Email Lists, or Phone Trees, or Maybe Just Set Her RSS Fields Correctly, And That Jean Does Not Understand Why Misty Knight Insists On Telling Her How Japan Is Super Boring And No One’s Boyfriends Ever Double Die There!
X-Men #117, January 1979
In Which We Discover That What Lilandra Really Wants To Be Empress of Is The Local Sephora, That Xavier came to Cairo for the Sex Tourism, but Stayed For The Astral Sex Tourism, That Twilight’s Bella and The Smith’s Morrisey Have Both Just Arrived To Tell Xavier To Cheer The F*&^ Up!
X-Men #114, October 1978
In Which We Discover That One Should Never Bother A Living Embodiment Of Rebirth Until After Its First Cup Of Coffee, That Wolverine Is Basically A Walking Cable-Knit Sweater, And That Summers Can Not Decide Whether To Get The Tom Sellick Or Go For The Full Oates!
X-Men #113, September 1978
In Which We Discover That Scott Needs To Use His Words When He Makes Boom Boom, That If You Give Storm A Bowl Of Cherries You’ll Get Back A Pile Of Bowline and Hitch Knots, And That With Four Opposable Thumbs No One Should Be Surprised That The Beast Gets So Handsy!
X-Men #112, August 1978
In Which We Find That Magneto Is Like a Box Of Chocolates, Only Its Just Two Flavors And They Both Taste Nasty, That While Moira MacTaggert May Look Good In The French Maid Outfit That Is As Far as It Goes, And That Wolverine Has a Rational Fear of Giant Knives In His Face!
X-Men #111, June 1978
In Which We Learn That Beast Has A Singin’ In The Rain Wardrobe Always At The Ready, That You Have To Pay Extra For The Yukon Blow Off, And That Wolverine Is McCoy’s Feral Brother of Another Mother!