We lie down again and take our second foray into Marvel Mutant Movies! Check out what we thought of this X-Mash-Up of epic proportions. Just as a warning, we spoil the heck out of it after that. So listen with care.
X-Men #106, August 1977
In Which We Find That For Teleportation Nightcrawler Has No Choice But To Use His Night and Weekend Minutes, That As A Canadian Wolverine Is Unable To Resist A Fine Ice Sluice, And That Once The X-Men Meet Xavier’s Alter Ego They Will Be Green With Envy!
X-Men #100, August 1976
In Which We Discover That Sharing a Primary Color Will Not Bring Nightcrawler Any Closer To Snagging a BFF, That Wolverine and Colossus Had Substantially Less Success Doing Their Wicked Googly, And That One Does Not Want To Even Ask Banshee How Many Ladies Go Into A Celtic Knot!
X-Men #94, August 1975
In Which We Find That Nefaria’s Minions Were Once Just Plucky Orphans With A Can-Do Attitude And Songs In Their Hearts, That Nightcrawler Really Knows How To Help A Team Leader Relax, And That Most Credit Card Disclosures Actually Include A Regrettably Unstoppable Armageddon (RUA) Clause!
Giant-Size X-Men #1, May 1975
In Which We Discover That What The Mighty Mutant Colossus Really Wants To Do Is Rewire Your Office Intranet, That This Is Not The First Time Wolverine Has Had To Battle Giant Crabs, And That While Lorna Dane Wouldn’t Trade The Krakoa Experience She Shared With Storm For Anything, It Did Get Weird!
Amazing Spider-Man #92, Incredible Hulk #150, Marvel Team-Up #23 & 38, The Defenders #15 & 16, Fantastic Four Giant-Size #4, Jan 1971 – Oct 1975
In Which We Learn That Havok Might Want To Start With Limited Sleepovers At First Then Maybe Throwing In a Toothbrush If Things Go Well, That There Is No National Monument, Treasure, or Public Work Of Art That Can Not Be Commandeered For Villainy, That Hoary Nether Realm Demons Describe Extreme Profanity As Swearing Like a Sorcerer Supreme, And That Mr. Fantastic Cut A Lot Of Corners On Fire Safety To Afford His Ludicrous Bell and Whistle Assortment!
Captain America #172-175, Apr-Jul 1974
In Which We Discover That Cap and Falcon Know Only Vagrants and Farmers Travel Without A Double Windsor, That Being A Hero Requires An Encyclopedic Knowledge of the Grand Old Opry, That Cap Depends Upon The Kindness of Strange Truckers, And That Professor X Specializes In Long Distance Rumbly Tummies!
Avengers #110-111, April – May 1973
In Which We Find That Professor X Would Like You To Keep Cowardly Currs Separate From Your Foolish Fops, That The Deinonychus Can’t Get No Dino-Respect, And That Magneto’s Greatest Power May Really Be His Unrelenting Optimism!
Amazing Adventures #11, March 1972
In Which We Learn That Hank Always Kept His Bros Before Even The Reddest-Headest Of Ho’s, That First Names Are Only For Whores, Waitresses, And Theater Folk, And That Maybe Professor X Should Have Made More Time To Have “The Talk” With Beast!
X-Men #66, March 1970
In Which We Discover That No Chrome-Headed Genius Can Resist The Siren Song Of A Size 20 Hulk Crammed Into Size 10 Pants, That The Craisin Is The Most Sensual Of The Dehydrated Diminutive Fruits, And That The First Thing Hulk Must SMASH… Are His Own Self Doubts!