X-Men #97, February 1976
In Which We Find That Colossus Is Learning That Men With Tails Make Lousy Wing Men, That The Secret To Interstellar Warfare Is A Delicate Balance of Speed, Stealth, Destructive Force, and… Adorability, And That Airline Cockpits Are All Cigar Smoke And Sorrowful Love That Can Not Be!
X-Men #96, December 1975
In Which We Discover That Xavier Ignores EPA Waste Disposal Guidelines When It Comes To Portals To Evil Netherworlds, That Most Anti-Mutant Genocidal Maniacs Do Not Spend Enough Time On Their Grant Writing, And That Professor X Is Finally Taking Time Off To Pursue His Dream Of A Psychic Mapquest Business!
X-Men #95, October 1975
In Which We Learn That The Time Colossus Has Spent In America Is A Mixed Bag Of Exhilarating Freedoms And Debilitating Eating Disorders, That Storm Is The Bane of American Plumbing, And That The Secret Shame Of Cyclops Is His Inabilty To Understand Digital Countdown Technology!
X-Men #94, August 1975
In Which We Find That Nefaria’s Minions Were Once Just Plucky Orphans With A Can-Do Attitude And Songs In Their Hearts, That Nightcrawler Really Knows How To Help A Team Leader Relax, And That Most Credit Card Disclosures Actually Include A Regrettably Unstoppable Armageddon (RUA) Clause!
Giant-Size X-Men #1, May 1975
In Which We Discover That What The Mighty Mutant Colossus Really Wants To Do Is Rewire Your Office Intranet, That This Is Not The First Time Wolverine Has Had To Battle Giant Crabs, And That While Lorna Dane Wouldn’t Trade The Krakoa Experience She Shared With Storm For Anything, It Did Get Weird!
Avengers #110-111, April – May 1973
In Which We Find That Professor X Would Like You To Keep Cowardly Currs Separate From Your Foolish Fops, That The Deinonychus Can’t Get No Dino-Respect, And That Magneto’s Greatest Power May Really Be His Unrelenting Optimism!
Amazing Adventures #16, Hulk #161 & 172, Jan-Mar 1973 + Feb 1974
In Which We Discover That If Hulk’s Tummy Feels Icky Hulk No Longer Finds Object Impermanence Funny, That There Is No Scientific Atrocity That Can Not Be Soothed Over With A Little Deep Tissue Shiatsu, And That The U.S. Military Should Not Underestimate The Strategic Applications Of A Strapless Dress, A Thick Coat Of Lipstick, And Pair Of Three Inch Pumps!
Amazing Adventures #11, March 1972
In Which We Learn That Hank Always Kept His Bros Before Even The Reddest-Headest Of Ho’s, That First Names Are Only For Whores, Waitresses, And Theater Folk, And That Maybe Professor X Should Have Made More Time To Have “The Talk” With Beast!
X-Men #66, March 1970
In Which We Discover That No Chrome-Headed Genius Can Resist The Siren Song Of A Size 20 Hulk Crammed Into Size 10 Pants, That The Craisin Is The Most Sensual Of The Dehydrated Diminutive Fruits, And That The First Thing Hulk Must SMASH… Are His Own Self Doubts!
X-Men #65, February 1970
In Which We Find That Cyclops Prepares For All His Alien Invasions With An Intense Series Of Kegels, That Real BFFs Should Brutally Attack Each Other At Any Provocation, And That The Loathesome And Terrible Z’Nox Are Secretly Beloved By The American Society For Betterment Of Scrabble (ASFBA)!