X-Men #108, December 1977
In Which We Find That Most Space Pirate Lizardmen Would Kill For A Tube Of Chapstick, That Alien Guard Dwarfs Fearlessly Wield Their Crotches Like Pubescent Girl Gymnists, And That Ben Affleck Was This Close To Going With The Story Of The X-Men and the M’Kraan Crystal, Only Alan Arkin Refused To Wear The Damn Adamantium Claws!
X-Men #107, October 1977
In Which We Discover That That No One Gets Wolverine’s Constant References To Early Silver Screen Comedic Duos, That You Haven’t Seen An Old Boys Club Until You Have Seen An Old Boys Club Entirely Composed of Insect Men, And That Xavier’s Embodiment Of All His Psychic Energy, Potential, and Focus Is Kind Of A Man-Slut!
X-Men #106, August 1977
In Which We Find That For Teleportation Nightcrawler Has No Choice But To Use His Night and Weekend Minutes, That As A Canadian Wolverine Is Unable To Resist A Fine Ice Sluice, And That Once The X-Men Meet Xavier’s Alter Ego They Will Be Green With Envy!
X-Men #105, June 1977
In Which We Discover That Embodying All Cosmic Destruction And Rebirth Does Not Mean You Can Dish A Good Biscuit, That Mister Fantastic Should Never Trust A Car Valet Wearing Ruby Red Eyeglasses, And That Even Heralds of Galactus Know Never To Put Anything In Their Ear Canals… Except For Their Elbow!
X-Men #104, April 1977
In Which We Learn That If There Is One Thing The Scots Are Known For It Is Their Devotion To The Domestic Arts, That Everyone Loves Banshee And His New Delicious Crispy Outer Shell, And That Wolverine’s Girlfriend Is Always On Him About Never Remembering Important Anniversaries, Birthdays, or His Origin Story!
X-Men #102, December 1976
In Which We Find That Storm’s Fear of Confined Spaces Is Only Dwarfed By Her Dread of Charles Dickens Musicals, That Kurt Will Dance If He Wants To But He Won’t Leave His Friends Behind, And That Cain Marko Has Never Forgiven Xavier For Breaking His Officially Licensed Kirk Communicator!
X-Men #101, October 1976
In Which We Learn That The X-Men Are Completely Deserving of Their Lifetime Triborough Airport Ban, That When Wolverine Came To The Big City He Traded In His Dreams For A Soiled Pair Of Thigh High Chaps, And That Banshee Knows Better Than To Look A Dead Gift Horse In The Mouth!
X-Men #100, August 1976
In Which We Discover That Sharing a Primary Color Will Not Bring Nightcrawler Any Closer To Snagging a BFF, That Wolverine and Colossus Had Substantially Less Success Doing Their Wicked Googly, And That One Does Not Want To Even Ask Banshee How Many Ladies Go Into A Celtic Knot!
X-Men #99, June 1976
In Which We Learn That Everyone Is Afraid To Ask Nightcrawler What Exactly Happens At A Jahrmarkt, That No Matter Their Color, Creed, or Country, Postal Workers Are Always Disgruntled, And That Cyclops Just Wants To Be Able To Pass Through A Macy’s Without Coming Out Smelling Like A French Whore!
X-Men #98, April 1976
In Which We Discover That The X-Mansion Undergarment Situation Is Becoming Desperate, That Nothing Ruins Romantic Mojo Like Artificial Humanoids, And That All Marvel Scientists Want To Pretend They Know Astronomy, You Know, Because It Is Awesome!