X-Men #135, July 1980
In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time!
X-Men #133, May 1980
In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart’s Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time!
X-Men #129, January 1980
In Which We Discover That When Flying Always Check Where Your Closest Concubine Is, Keeping In Mind It May Be Behind You, That Wolverine Does Not Even Pretend To Read Them For The Articles, And That Frankly My Jean, I Don’t Give A Damn!
X-Men #128, December 1979
In Which We Learn That Storm Is A Friend To All Be They Beast Or Building Material, That Elephants Never Forget Their First Interspecies Sexual Predator, And That Moira Has Found The Warm Joy Of A Set Of Stainless Steel Twigs ‘n Berries!
X-Men #127, October 1979
In Which We Discover That Moira MacTaggert’s Past Is More Sordid Than A Moist Towelette At A Brothel, That Cyclops Runs The Worst Team Building Exercises, And That If Sophocles Had Written For Comic Books He Would Probably Have Asked Claremont To Cool It With All The Creepy Mom Sex Stuff!
X-Men #126, October 1979
In Which We Find That Hunting Naked Men Is One Of The Fifty Shades of Jean Grey, That Madrox Is Only One Step Above A Tennis Ball On A Stick, And That Mutant X May Have One Further Weakness: Love… And A Debilitating Addiction To Prescription Medication. Also, Chocoholic!
X-Men #125, September 1979
In Which We Discover That Wolverine Has Been Insufferable Ever Since Nightcrawler Broke the Keurig Machine, That Jean Grey Has Been Traveling the Mediterranean Learning the Tantric Secrets of the Yoni and the Emotional Voids, And That At Last The X-Men Can Really Celebrate Because Everyone is Not Dead! Well, Except Changeling, but F— That Guy!
X-Men King-Size Annual #3, August 1979
In Which We Learn That Logan Could Have Saved This Civilization If He Had Only Finished His Online Vocational Electronics Course, That Nightcrawler’s Greatest Nemesis Is The Rotary Phone, And That No Abducted Lady’s Wardrobe Is Complete Without A Metal Bikini!
X-Men #124, August 1979
In Which We Find That There Is No Crisis Storm Can Not Face Through Increased Teenage Boy Titillation, That Half A Villainess Costume Might Not Be Better Than None, And That Cyclops Found His Red Cross Training Got Him More Than Just A Renewal Of His Lifeguard Certification!
X-Men #123, July 1979
In Which We Discover That Ororo Must Be By Far the Cleanest Member of the X-men, That Colossus Has Finally Earned His Big Boy Pants, And That Arcade Has Managed To Merge His Three Greatest Passions: Homicide, Inflatable Latex, and Who Rock Operas!