X-Men #39, December 1967
In Which We Find That The Best Fog Lights Are .50 Caliber Machine Guns, That The Alarm Clock And Suitcase Bomb Industries Are Dangerously Intertwined, And That Doublemint Gum Has Finally Gotten Into The Lucrative Hairless Genius Market!
X-Men #38, November 1967
In Which We Learn That It Is Important To Bring Your Giant Candy Bar And Jellied Nitroglycerine In Separate Bags, That Italy Is Dangerously Overpopulated with Multi-Vowelled Cities, And That Xavier Needs To Show Us Exactly Where The Mutant Master Touched Him!
X-Men #37, October 1967
In Which We Discover That Factor Three’s Mom Is Going To Be So Pissed When She Sees They Have Gotten Into Her Good Cookware, That Beast Can’t Stop Drawing To The Inside Straight, And That If You Face The GuardBot You Won’t Be Sitting Down For A Week!
X-Men #36, September 1967
In Which We Learn That Thanks To The Unions All Our Super-Jobs Are Going Overseas, That Next Time A Man In An Exoskeleton Returns A Book Late You May Want To Just Let It Slide, And That We Can Forget About All The Single Mothers, The Real Problem Is All The Damn Welfare Professors!
X-Men #35, August 1967
In Which We Discover That Xavier May Be Moving Into The Psychedelic Successories Business, That When Numbering Evil Henchmen Never Aim Numerically Low, And That The Number One Problem With Running A Picturesque Bed And Breakfast In A Restored, Old Mill Is The Constant Robo-Arachnoid Attacks!
X-Men #34, July 1967
In Which We Learn That The X-Men Have Been Naughty, Naughty Boys, That New York Pay Phones Are Both Phallic and Profane, And That Whether Your Skin Be Pink, Orange, Or Sickly Yellow, It Is All The Same In The Dark!
X-Men #33, June 1967
In Which We Discover Why The List Of Required Mystical Components For Doctor Strange Always Includes A Sleeve Of Golf Balls, That Licorice Candy Based Bondage Is On The Upswing, And That Andre 3000 May Actually Be A Demon Banished To A Crimson Hell Dimension. Try To At Least Look Surprised.
X-Men #32, May 1967
In Which We Find That The New York Night Club Scene Is Notoriously Lax On Age Enforcement, That To Ride With Satan’s Saints You Must Be Prepared To Dine On An Incline, And That While Technically The Juggernaut Is Unstoppable, Sometimes He Just Can Not Deal With The Hassles of Modern Air Travel!
X-Men #31, April 1967
In Which We Learn That Having A Pole Off Is Half As Sexy And Twice As Painful As It Sounds, That Warren Is Not Man Enough For A Full Quadrilateral, And That If Jean Does Not Want To Come Off As Too Easy She Should Stop Bringing A Full Change Of Clothes On Every Date!
X-Men #30, March 1967
In Which We Discover That Hybrid Mythical Creatures Get The Ladies, That The Beast Has A Heartless Mistress and Her Name is Baccarat, And That No One Wants To Hear The Story Again Of How Your Magic Enabled Uther Pendragon to Father His Son Arthur With Igrain, The Wife of His Enemy! Look, We All Did A Lot Of Crazy Things In The Time Of Legends, But The Rest Of Us Grew Up And Got Jobs!
