Episode 091, “Home Are The Heroes!”

X-Men #109, February 1978
“Home Are The Heroes!”
Written by Chris Claremont, Pencils by John Byrne, Inked by Terry Austin, Lettered by Joe Rosen, Colors by Andy Yanchus, Edited by Archie Goodwin

Don’t Byrne Your Bridges!

In Which We Learn That Sharing A Bedroom Wall With Banshee Must Be A Total Nightmare, That Colossus Needs To Recognize That Not Every Hairy Dude Wants To Be Compared to Chewbacca, And That When Wolverine Wears Someone’s Leopardtard, He Is Sharing Costumes With Everyone THEY Shared WITH and Everyone THEY Shared WITH and So On…

Olivia Newton John Is The Last Missing Summers Sibling! Her Mutant Ability? Body Talk!

A two page spread from Destroyer Duck #4, October 1983, written by Steve Gerber and drawn by the great Jack Kirby. It depicts the rebirth of Booster Cogburn, a mutant company man with a removable spine and an overblown ego. It is a not too subtle stab at John Byrne, who had proudly described himself as a “cog in the machine that is Marvel comics” in a magazine interview in 1982.

One of six pages of art-free content from Alpha Flight #6, January 1984. The joke is that as the hero Snowbird takes on the Great Beast, Kolomaq, she is forced to battle inside a complete white out blizzard. While a fun experiment in the spirit of the Assistant Editor’s month gimmick, it certainly made life easier for John Byrne who was drawing multiple books every month.

After repeated charges of blatant sexism, Marvel lay down the law: No more than 50% of the females in any panel can be dressed like whores.

And now you know why it is so hard to find a mint condition copy of this comic.

Foolish Nightcrawler. One can not teleport their way out of the dressing room to avoid an exploding dye pack.

The movie Bambi came this close to having an evisceration scene.

Two Celts and a Russian sun bathing? Look away, Ororo! You’ll go snow blind!

This panel clearly has a lot of flexing going on. By both of them.

Little Known Fact: Colossus’ ‘Three Steps to a Fitter You’ was actually the first widely distributed fitness video. Sadly, his insistence on Betamax exclusivity left the door wide open for a plucky young Jane Fonda.

Nipple ricochets are the deadliest.

When you find a delicious giant hand, you do not wait to eat it.

Please be a scream from his mouth. Please be a scream from his mouth. Please be a…

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