Episode 066, “Before I’d Be Slave…”

X-Aspirations Episode 066
X-Men #65, February 1970
“Before I’d Be Slave…”
Written by Dennis O’Neil, Pencils by Neal Adams, Inked by Tom Palmer, Lettering by Jean Izzo, Edited by Stan Lee.

Dammit. Janet. Pym Slaps You!

In Which We Find That Cyclops Prepares For All His Alien Invasions With An Intense Series Of Kegels, That Real BFFs Should Brutally Attack Each Other At Any Provocation, And That The Loathesome And Terrible Z’Nox Are Secretly Beloved By The American Society For The Betterment Of Scrabble (ASFBS)!

You Know Who Would Have Made Quick Work of The Z’Nox? Thundarr, That’s Who!

The infamous Pym Slap heard round the world from Avengers #213, drawn by Bob Hall and scripted by Jim Shooter. This made Hank Pym’s name synonymous marital abuse, although apparently Hall’s drawing was an order of magnitude more violent than Shooter intended.

You should see Beast when someone dog ears his books.

Havok’s attempt to introduce Movie Night at the mansion was not going well.

There was a chance that the human race would have been warned, but the JPL scientist assigned to watch for planetary collisions was on a furlough Friday.

A fiery glow may indicate that the settings are too high on your electric blanket.

All this is missing is B.A. Baracus to make it a perfect A-Team montage.

The Avengers’ Heliship would have been more ostentatious, but unfortunately Hulk smashed the bejeezus out of the Lido Deck.

I will immediately dispatch my eyebrows to absorb the attack!

Not terrified? Remember, kids, the poor X-men don’t have a giant “R” blocking their sightlines to his downtown brown frown.

Huh. Guess that E.T. movie really downplayed the alien rape.

When she suggested the Summers Boys Sandwich, Jean was kinda counting on being the meat.

Wheeling Xavier around is always a dicey proposition thanks to his ludicrously slick outerwear

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