X-Men #137, September 1980
In Which We Find That Five Billion Is Actually The Loneliest Number, That The Only Way For The X-Men To Save Jean Is To Go The Full Monty, And That Gladiator Does Not Want You To Hate Him Because He Is Beautiful!
X-Men #136, August 1980
In Which We Learn That The Greatest Threat To Most Alien Civilizations Is That No One Can Pronounce Anyone Else’s Name, That Parental Guilt Trips Scale With The Amount of Omnipotence One Possesses So Mathematically You Actually Can Never Be Good Enough, And That No, Xavier Can Not Let Scott Have Even Just This One!
X-Men #135, July 1980
In Which We Discover That Nightcrawler Knows That Dying Is Easy But It Is Comedy That Is Hard, That Ironically Peter Rasputin Is Currently Reading The Golden Bough, And That In The 12-Step Program For Omnipotence, It Is That Amends Step That Really Eats Up All Your Time!
X-Men #134, June 1980
In Which We Learn That Wolverine Ain’t Heavy He’s My Mutantly-Enhanced Mass Brother, That Beneath Colossus’ Metal Skin Beats The Heart of An Easily Distracted Poet, And That If Storm Hears One More “Let It Go” refrain from Nightcrawler, He’s A Dead Elf!
X-Men #133, May 1980
In Which We Find That Unlike Folgers, Wolverine Is Not Good To The Last Drop, That Bjork Has Nothing On Moira MacTaggart’s Fashion Sense, And That Jean May Have Just Earned Herself ALL The Racial Sensitivity Seminars. To The End of Time!
X-Men #132, April 1980
In Which We Discover That Wolverine May Be Murder On The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, But He Better Watch Himself With The International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, That You Can’t Toss A Rock In The Marvel Universe Without Hitting An Over-Priviliged Hellfire Club Member, And That Only Jean Grey Can Control Scott’s Blasts… If You Know What I Mean!
X-Men #131, March 1980
In Which We Learn That The Hellfire Minion Funniest Facial Expression Contest Always Ends In A 20-Way Tie, That 1970s Detroit Builds Nothing The X-Men Won’t Mangle, And That Kitty Pryde Is Just Not Sure She Can Deal With The Amount of X-Nudity Required!
X-Men #130, February 1980
In Which We Find That Wolverine Lives In Constant Fear Of Recklessly Fast Zipper Pull-Ups, That Like Many Girls Jean Grey Dreams Of A Traditional, Intimate Wedding In A Quaint Church That Only Partially Smells of Its Own Fiery Conflagration, And That There Are Two Things Dazzler Loves: Driving Disco Beats And Speculative Fiction By The Dean Of Science Fiction!
X-Men #129, January 1980
In Which We Discover That When Flying Always Check Where Your Closest Concubine Is, Keeping In Mind It May Be Behind You, That Wolverine Does Not Even Pretend To Read Them For The Articles, And That Frankly My Jean, I Don’t Give A Damn!
X-Men #128, December 1979
In Which We Learn That Storm Is A Friend To All Be They Beast Or Building Material, That Elephants Never Forget Their First Interspecies Sexual Predator, And That Moira Has Found The Warm Joy Of A Set Of Stainless Steel Twigs ‘n Berries!
