Uncanny X-Men #157, May 1982
In Which We Discover That Hard Vacuum Pushes Piotr Into Another Potential Pushkin, That Kitty’s Chaotic Costuming Suggests That There May Be Such A Thing As Too Much Creative Freedom, And That Alien Industrial Design Is Mostly Genitalia-Based Because They Just Nasty!
Uncanny X-Men #156, April 1982
In Which We Find That Bikini-clad Avengers Have Serious Pocket Problems, That Kitty Is Being Corrupted By The Nihilistic Relativism Of European Pseudo-intellectual Morality And, Also, She Likes Colossus’ Badonkadonk, And That The Three Keys To Extraterrestrial Name Creation Are Apostrophes, Apostrophes, Apostrophes!
Uncanny X-Men #155, March 1982
In Which We Discover That It Is Nigh Impossible To Repair The Trauma Of Fractured Familial Bonds Under The Constant Assault Of Alien Incursion, That The Shi’Ar Admiral Always Proudly Displays His Daughter’s Tentacle Art On The Dreadnaught Refrigerator, And That Deathbird Would Have Long Ago Conquered The Galaxy If She Could Stop Buying All Her Weaponry From “As Seen On TV!”
Wolverine #4, December 1982
In Which We Learn That When You Care To Send The Very Best Send A Bloody Ninja Hood, That Yukio Shares The Same Weakness For Netting As Crustaceans, And That Mariko Should Have Skipped Out On Lord Shingen’s “Take Your Daughter To Work Day!”
Wolverine #3, November 1982
In Which We Find That Ninja Is One of The More Overlooked Positions In The Hospitality Industry, That There Are Very Few Times Appropriate For Caling Out Your Ex’s Name And After Killing Five Ninjas Is Still Not It, And That When The Mangled Corpses Are All Aligned Along The Garden Rake Tracks That Is Actually Maximum Zen!
Wolverine #2, October 1982
In Which We Discover That While Ladies Dig The Abs They Are Turned Off By Murder Sprees, That From Nefari- To Treacher-, Lord Shingen Has All the -Ous’s, And That It’s Raining Ninja Men! Halllejah, Amen!
X-Men #154, February 1982
In Which We Find That You Should Definitely Call The X-Men for Any Demonic Hellscapes You Would Like To Renovate and Flip, That Wolverine Knows Chicks With Damage Give Logan The Hammage, And That The Sidri Can Only Be Defeated With Fire… and Presumably a Glue Trap Baited with Sugar!
Avengers Annual #10, Summer 198
In Which We Discover That The Only Things More Nefarious Than Evil Mutants Are Long Distance Fees, That The Blob Lets His Little Blobs Dangle And You Can’t Unsee It, And That Storm Is Not Sure What Exploding Relays Stimulate, But She’ll Take Two Of What Kitty Is Having!
X-Men #153, January 1982
In Which We Learn That Even The Sugariest of Sugar Daddies Might Not Have Enough Sugar For Routine Sentinel Damage, That Muppet Dolls Are Probably Not Vessels Hosting Spirits of the Damned, Yearning to Return to Our Realm Through The Weak Will of a Storyteller, And That Bilbo Could Have Saved Everyone A Lot of Trouble If He Had Just Jabbed Smaug In The Ass!
X-Men #152, December 1981
In Which We Find That You Can’t Keep Your Emmas Straight From Your Ororos Without A Program, That Kitty Pryde Does Not Just Wake Up Looking This Good, And That Sebastion Shaw Is One Corset Short Of A Rocky Horror Picture Show!
